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Writer's Block: Earth Mk. II

If you could design your own planet, what would it look like and who would live there? Describe the colors, the creatures, and the culture.

Hmm. Let's see. On my world the dinosaurs would never have gone extinct. This solves a multitude of problems:

a) Living dinosaurs = no fossils = no fossil fuel = no expansive culture of energy leading to pollution, global warming, suburbanization, and uglification of the enivornment. Or, at the very least, if dinos were still alive, we could propagate their species as a renewable resource for our cars. A VERY long term resource, but a resource nonetheless.  

b) Counteracts the Malthusian nightmare by having the spitting dinos (Dilophosaurs?) keeping the Wayne Knight population of the world low (and trust me, we all know some Wayne Knights.)

c) Coexistence of men and dinosaurs reconciles Creationist and Evolutionist theories. Once man can clone Jesus, all shall be settled.

Economics would tend towards the Georgist. Instead of First and Third World countries, there would be Seventeenth and Eighteenth world Countries (if we need distinguish between them at all). Religon would tend towards the cultus type, something sacramental with a definite hierarchy (sound familiar?) while the immediate society would feature an abundance of institutions and guilds for the person to join. The theory of art would be somewhere between Savonarola and Theotocopulos (take it easy, people!) Green and brown would be the predominant colors, reflecting the abundance of organic culture. Workplaces would never be allowed to exceed six stories in height. Everyone would have to get a boating license as a necessity, and a driving license as a luxury. Politics would not be so banal as to assume the proper end of man is universal democracy. The more enlightened would be ruled by philosopher-kings and their aristocratic advisors. The less enlightened would have the guidance of primitive warlords who had won their posts by reading the complete works of Ernest Hemingway, owning a certain amount of stock in Old Milwaukee and Slim Jim, and having won the WWE Championship. In either case, there would be many more countries than there are now, and a great deal more differentiated.

Punishment would consist of being sent to the Neutral Zone, a place of the Earth where everything was the same color, the same odor and the same texture.  

And ducks would talk. Horses would have their own congress, as well.


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September 2012


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